I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
