you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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