we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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