so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
