He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
True college students do jello shots in the library
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