you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
