I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
