I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
