3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
