then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
