anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
