:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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