I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
