we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
