Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
