i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
