one two three fourrrrnication!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
