Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
