haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
