Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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