Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
