return my video game
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
