How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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