just come out here and I will go home with you...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
