my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
