She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
