Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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