You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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