areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
