I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
