She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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