O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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