People in love make me want to vomit
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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