i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
