hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
