let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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