Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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