perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
