Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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