Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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