yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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