Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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