I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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