I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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