Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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