Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
