Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
