I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
