I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
