You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
