why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
